I was watching Tavis Smiley last night on PPS and he was interviewing Graham Nash of the folk rock group Crosby, Stills Nash and Young. I've always loved their sound but what hit me watching this interview was how happy and just plain good this guy looked. I don't mean good looking in the sense of a handsome leading man or that he had somehow maintained his good looks over the years, but how good he looked as an individual obviously still happily engaged in life and in his soul's call. His hair was white but that actually seemed to add to his attractiveness. He is now 71 and as he said, "I'm busy, busy, busy as ever."
He has just written and published his autobiography,
Wild Tales - A Rock and Roll Life and was there to talk to Tavis about the book and of course about his life as a rock and roll star. It was an interesting interview and if you would like to watch the video or read the transcript here is a link to it.
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/tavissmiley/
But what I want to talk about today is his attitude about life, about music, about art and about living every day feeling blessed and joyous. You could see this in his demeanor, his smile and his words. Here was a man living his soul's call and loving every day of it. This is not to say he has not had some trying times and made some mistakes, I am very sure that he has and that all of his life has not been a bed of roses. In fact, his father was arrested and put in jail for a year when Graham was thirteen. He had inadvertently bought a stolen camera from a friend and was unwilling to give up this friend's name to the police when they came calling. This led to the elder Nash's arrest and eventually spending a year in prison. This had a major impact on the younger Nash but did not after all, cause him to take a dim and negative view of life.
What I got from listening to Graham talk about his life is that he knew the secret to true and lasing happiness. He said that in spite of his tough childhood he had learned that if he did something creative each day and that if he also gave back to the world in some way what he had been given - his music and his photography - this helped to make him a happy man. He also indicated that he savored his life as it came along and did not spend his time regretting or second guessing himself. I liked what he had to say and thought I would put my own spin on it and share it with my readers. I see these three things, creating something everyday, giving something back every day and savoring something to be the secret to living a long, happy and satisfying life, just like the Graham Nash -one of the world's happy people. . .
Create Something
We are all creative - every single one of us. Now this does not mean that we can rival someone like Graham Nash in the songwriting or singing arena or that we are going to give Michael Angelo a run for the prize of grand master of renaissance painting, but we are all creative if we simply allow ourselves to be so. Maybe what we create is not tangible such as when a manager calls a meeting and brings that meeting to a productive end and everyone leaves the meeting feeling like they accomplished something. Or let's say you are a teacher and you create a warm and encouraging classroom for your students, or a doctor who sees a patient who is worried about a potential negative diagnosis and the doctor makes sure to create an atmosphere of caring and compassion. Of course creativity can also be tangible. The homeowner who plants a garden or mows his lawn and clips the hedges into perfection, this is being creative. You can also create what most think of when they think about creativity, writing, painting, sculpting, sewing, cooking, singing, playing a musical instrument, acting or any number of other tangible creative activities. But no matter what it is that you do or would like to do in terms of being creative, the key is to think of yourself as being capable of creating something. Then to do this every single day, if possible. If you find yourself, as Graham Nash said, busy, busy, then think about what you could create that would only take a minute of two. You could smile at the grocery clerk and in so doing create a pleasant moment. You could let someone in line in front of you on the freeway or merge into the traffic from a side road and create some goodwill. Or you could open the door for someone, or say hello to a neighbor or any one of a million little random acts of kindness and this will be your creative activity for the day. And on the days when you have more time, then try your hand at something creative that is more challenging and see what happens. Being creative is one of the things that brings joy and happiness to our days. It's one of the secrets of happy living.
Give Something
A second secret to happy living is to be a giving person, In the above I am talking about creating something and then sharing that with the world and these two things can go together, but not always, sometimes, we just need to give simply to give back to the world what we have been given ourselves. I am writing this blog and that's my creative thing for today, but I am also giving this to the world out there who either are on my list or who find me via the Internet. In this way, I am giving, but my goal in writing this blog is both to give and to get; clients, people who buy my book, that sort of thing. So if what you create and then give has another motive such as making money on it -then you need to go one step further and give something else without any thought of return other than making you feel happy. So it is not enough just to make something creative and give or sell it to someone, you need to also give of yourself. This is where true happiness comes into play. If I do something for someone that is unrelated to my work, my art, then this gives me more than just sharing my art. But it needs to be something you give from the heart and that has some time and some energy to it. In other words, simply making monetary donations to charities or causes will not, in general, bring about a sense of personal happiness, whereas doing something specific for someone else, someone in need, someone who could use a helping hand or someone you know who could use a supportive ear or shoulder, this will add to your daily happiness. When we write checks or do some do good thing that has no personal investment of our selves in terms of time or energy - meaning no real heart for you personally, this then isn't what I'm talking about here. This kind of thing may make you feel like you're a good guy, but it won't have a lasting effect on your life.in terms of happiness. For this part of the secret to work you need to go out of your way and do something specific for someone else. Use your time, your energy and your heart for someone else that really doesn't contribute to you except in this feel good doing it way. If you do this, along with the creating something and you do this every day in both small and big ways, then your happiness quotient will go way up.
Savor Something
We live in a world of high stress and always being busy getting things done. It truly can be a rat race, a treadmill or a roller coaster of obligation and commitment. This is especially true if you still have kids in the nest or a demanding and challenging job or if some other life issue has you on the ropes. But I am here to tell you that those of you who can stop and savor just one thing each day and do this in a way that brings that thing into your consciousness in a calm and serene way, you will indeed add to your personal happiness. But what do I mean by savor something? Savoring means to take your time and really enjoy whatever you choose as your savoring thing. It could be the smile of your baby, the laughter of kids playing outside, it could be the sunrise or the sunset, it could be your favorite song on the radio or sitting down to a meal and really enjoying and savoring every bite and not rushing through it because you have a report due tomorrow at work and you need to do some more work on it. This then is the Zen of living. I have a book that I've had for years called,
Chop Wood, Carry Water - basically what it says is that when you are chopping wood, then chop wood, don't think about other things and when you carrying water, just carry the water and let everything else float out of your mind. This is savoring and if we all do this with as many things as we can each day, then this will make a major contribution to our happiness and sense of well being. Now this does not mean that we don't have times when we have to multi-task - but even with our busy, complex lives, we can stop and savor at least one thing each day. For me it's the one good cup of gourmet coffee I allow myself every morning. I use real cream in it and I savor that one cup and this gets my day off to a wonderful start. For you it could be something else. My daughter who has three children and a job goes for a walk each day alone and savors the time on her own. When she gets back home she has a million things to do from cooking dinner to making sure the kids do their homework and everyone gets ready for the next day but while she is out on her walk she savors the experience and it lets her get back to her busy life in a more relaxed and capable place.
This then is my gift to you today - the three things, create something, give something and savor something, do these three things and you will see that these really can be the secret to a happy, well lived life.
Blessings,
Lorraine
