Wellness Within
Wellness within is a sense of well being about your life and who you are. You feel that you are doing the right work for your skills and talents and that this choice is bringing you the life satisfaction and joy you desire in life. A person with a good solid sense of wellness within does not dread Monday morning or wish they had some other job or career. Nor do they long for a different life partner or wish they were single and could choose someone else. They love their partner and love the life they are living with him or her.
Now in some cases, a person may feel unhappy or unsatisfied with the choices they have made in either their career or their primary relationship, but this unhappiness is related more to themselves than the career or relationship. These people don't trust their choices and are always looking for new avenues to explore. This is not wellness within, this is global dissatisfaction with themselves.
Global Dissatisfaction with Oneself
If you do not feel a sense of wellness within but instead feel a sense of global dissatisfaction with yourself and your life then you have some work to do. The first thing you have to do is become your own best friend. The truth is that at the end of the day and in fact, at the end of your life, you're the only one you've got - so make friends with yourself. Take your own side in conflicts with others, forgive yourself for your mistakes, love yourself for your choices and have faith in those choices and decisions. And fix or get help with the things in your life that you truly believe need to change.
Go on a Change Odyssey
If after some deep reflection you decide you do need to change some things about yourself, then takes this on. Go on what I call a Change Odyssey. Let's say you fret too much about this or that in your life. Well, any time you fret that is not wellness within. Fretting and worrying create un-wellness within or what most people would call misery. What I would say as a psychological consultant is that any time you fret and worry, this is your soul telling you something is amiss. Attend to it. Change it or it will kill you! There's an old saying "She's worried to death." Well, don't worry yourself to death - fix it and fix it now. Worry, will indeed kill you!
Love Your partner or Leave Your Partner
The same goes for your life partner - you need to openly love them or make the decision to leave them since you can't change them, you can only change yourself. So get busy going on a change odyssey to love your partner or make a decision to leave them. You can't have it both ways. One of the things about wellness within is the decision to accept certain unchangeable things and let them be. Maybe your partner is always late or running late and this bothers you. Well, that bother is a little bit of un-wellness within. A little chunk of dissatisfaction inside yourself. Then the next time she is running late, that bother bumps up against your insides and eventually it's a huge ball of misery.
What Else Can You Do?
One of the things I tell people about life in general is helping someone out is always a good thing. So if you life partner is always running late maybe he or she is overwhelmed with all the things they have to do. So offer some help and do this with an open heart. Or just do it. No sarcasm, no under the breath passive aggressive comments, either. A "Hey let me help you with that." will almost always be met with gratitude and open acceptance.
Accept Them For Who/What They Are, Not Who or What You Would Like Them to Be
This is true whether it is your career or your partner. The job is what it is and so is your life partner. The chances of you changing them is pretty unlikely. So be careful who and what you choose in life. Take your time and do your own self development work so you are as good as you are going to be as well. Who would want to live with someone or go to work at a job where you are always being ask to change.
Being accepted for who and what you are is one of our most treasured aspirations. So go where you are loved and valued for what you bring, not what they wish you would bring. That is a miserable place to be - AVOID IT!!!!
I wish you love and acceptance for whoever you are, no matter what!
Lorraine
