Are You Shopping for Solutions to Life's Challenges?

We live in a world that markets and sells the solution to all of life's challenges. If you have a problem you will be told via the Internet, Television and other sources that all you have to do is purchase the solution with this or that product or service.  We are bombarded by these ads on a relentless basis, from drugs that will cure us, supplements that will prevent problems from developing, exercise programs and equipment that will keep us healthy and young, to ambulance chasing attorneys who will get you a million bucks if you've been in an auto accident. We are also sold political ads that tell us what to think and how to vote.  Then there are of course, all the recreational and pleasurable actives we can purchase that sell us the good life.  And one of my favorites, the beauty ads - hair, make up and face creams that try to guarantee us that we will never get old.   

Now don't get me wrong - I love shopping and of course we need or at least want all kinds of things like food, shelter, exercise, health care, professional services, entertainment and so on but when it comes to solving life's more challenging aspects we need to look inside and find the answer with in us.  As Karl Jung said,

"He who looks outside dreams, he who looks inside, awakens."

So the next time you find yourself struggling with some existential angst, try looking inside yourself for the answer.  Each us is gifted with who and what we are and that includes what we can do with our lives.  We do not have to shop for the answer, all we have to do is get in touch with what is already inside ourselves.  Now this may mean that what you find will require you to do something that does require a bit pf shopping.  Let's say you find that what you really want to do with your life is be a writer, or a professor, a nurse or doctor - well all these things require education and learning.  So you will have to shop for a school to attend or books to read people who can help you with your call.    I use the word call as that is what your insides will illuminate for you - what you are here to do with your life, your calling.  And of course, once you hear your call, you will most likely need to do some shopping in order to make it happen.  I call this Target Shopping.  

Do Some Target Shopping To Make it Happen
 

Once you wake up to what you want in your life then going out and target shopping to make that happen flows easily and that's how you know you are on the right track.  Once you look inside and hear your call, things begin to flow.   But if that is not happening maybe you need a little help and that's what I do with people, I help them discover who they are and what they long to do with their life.  If you feel stuck or lost in the woods then give me a call - I am here to help you - it's what I found inside myself when I looked within.

Blessings, Lorraine

New Visions -At Wellness WithIn

720-258-5963 - Email lorrainebanfield@msn.com

"You have to see it to believe it and take action to make it real"

Change the Way You Look at Things & the Things You Look at Change

We all have things we think, believe and do that we don't really question too much, it's just what we think is right or wrong depending on what it is.  Some of these things come from the culture, some come from our families, some come from our religion and some come from the media but many of them come from our own life experiences and our reactions to these events.  These reactions could have happened last week or when we were kids.  Some of these experiences were delightful, some were boring and tedious and some were horrible, miserable and stressful.  So we decide what we feel about these experiences and this sets up our belief systems, our daily actions and the way we then do and direct our lives more or less on auto pilot.   

 

But what if we were wrong?  What if what we have "decided" is not serving us or is making us live a life that is not soulful or authentic for us.  What if our beliefs and actions are limiting us in ways that in the long run will make us feel cheated by life?

 

Look at What You Do - Is this Authentic for You?

 

Start with what you do each day and ask yourself if this is the right thing for you to be doing with your life.  Are you doing the right work for you?  Do you love it or are you simply marking time until  you can do something else.  Do you like/love and value the people in your life?  Do you feel your life is purposeful and meaningful?  Do you feel true to yourself?

 

Look at Your Values - Do They Support the Greater Good?

 

Whether we like it or not, the best lives are lived by those who act in ways that both support themselves and their own souls but who never forget that we are all in this together.  In other words, if we only work and believe in our own good but don't care a bit about others, we are going to eventually feel empty and dead inside.  So when you look at your values pay attention to those that may be prejudiced against others, or that tell you that you are above certain people, are better than them based on some arbitrary thing like the color of your skin, your I.Q. your physical beauty or the country in which you were born.  These are either accidents of birth or given by God, depending on your belief system, but what ever you believe, you did not earn these things but were given them by something beyond mine or your understanding. 

 

Be Diligent

 

As  you go about your day, be diligent about looking at what you believe, do and say.  Are your basic actions in support of you and your soul and the souls of others or are you simply going about life on without conscious thought about it?    Of course, if you have questions about this or want some support in making some changes in your life then give me a call - this is what I do.

 

Blessings, Lorraine  

 

720-258-5963 or lorrainebanfield@msn.com

 

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change

 

 

 

 

 

 

No BMW's or Helicopters to the Summit

I was watching a PSB program recently about two professors from Colorado State University, now both in their 80's, who still teach, coach and take students and others on hikes in the high country of the Rocky Mountains.  I found these men both inspiring and entertaining.  One of them told those he teaches, coaches or takes on hikes that he has only one rule - No BMW's!  My immediate thought was a sleek, German built luxury car, but then he said, "No Bitching, Moaning or Whining!"  He said he told his students and others that if they wanted to make the grade, win the game or make it to the summit of the mountain then they would have to refrain from this negative talking and thinking.  I totally agree and now have added this mantra to my own self talk and teach it to others as well.  I also added another one - No Helicopters to the Summit!  Most of us, of course, understand the first one but what does this other one really mean? 

Well, a helicopter to the summit means taking a short cut to the top of something that challenges you.  Examples could be cheating on a test, lying about your work or life experience, stealing someone else's idea and presenting it as your own, using drugs and alcohol to make yourself feel better or it could be something much more subtle. 

As a life coach I work with people who want solid, successful and loving relationships, but many of them resist the work and time it takes to become the kind of person who can actually do this.  Divorce and the break-up of long term relationships is common, but what is not as common is taking the time to deal with what happened, what your part in it was and what YOU need to do to keep this from happening again. 

BMW's are Part of the Blame Game

I meet people all the time who are what one writer called divorce burn outs - people who have been divorced for several years but who are still talking about their ex spouses as if they were the man or woman from Hell.  These are the BMW talkers, they talk regularly about their ex partner without ever taking any personal responsibility for what happened.  

Helicopters to the Summit are Fantasy Trips

The other kind of person I meet are people who want to avoid the work and responsibility of their failed relationships or other life challenges and simply decide to take a helicopter to the summit.  I know a woman who one  week after moving out from a seven year relationship was online looking for a new man and within three months she had met one and he moved in with her.  He too, of course, was recently divorced from his second marriage and looking for a helicopter to the fantasy of love and romance. They told me they were in love and asked me if I believed in love at first sight.  I told them that I believed in attraction at first sight but that love was a different matter.  They, of course, ignored me. 

Life is Challenging - You are Responsible for Your Challenges

Successful people meet the challenges of life by taking actions to meet those challenges not by bitching, moaning whining and blaming others or trying to avoid the hard work,disappointment and responsibility by taking a fantasy trip to the summit of their desires.

Successful people also use the resources available to them such as a professional who can help them meet these challenges and that's what I do.  So if something in your life is encouraging you to bitch, moan, whine and blame others or a fantasy trip is tempting you,  then give me a call. I would love to hear from you. 

Blessings, Lorraine

Phone - 720-258-5963 - Email - lorrainebanfield@msn.com

You have to see if to make it happen and you have to take action to make it real

 

Time to Review, Reflect and Rivise

Human beings are essentially farmers - we grow things, from ourselves to our relationships, our children, our work and our communities, even our world.  And winter is the perfect time to take a close look at what we have grown the past year.  Instead of the conventional idea of New Years Resolutions why not do a Review, Reflect and Revise process.  Using your day planner, whether it is paper or digital take a look at what you did or did not do this past year.  If you do not use a day planner - this is a terrific time to start. 

Review - What Grew and What Languished on the Vine Last Year?

First list the things you are most proud of doing and growing this past year.  Then list your basic tasks and responsibilities - give yourself a grade for these.  For example if you went to work on time, did your job well and felt good about your efforts then give yourself an A.  But if you went to work on time every day but were miserable and wanted to quit most of the time then maybe you earned only a C or less.

Then list those things you said yes to and are proud of - but also list those things you said no to and felt the same.  But also list those things you said yes or no to but did not feel good about it.  Then list the challenges you faced and what you did or did not do about them.  Some of these things languished on the vine and some are still there waiting for your attention.  Make sure you put these on your list of what needs to be revised.

Reflect - Then Take Some Time to Think About Actions Last Year

All successful farmers use the winter months to review and reflect on how their crops turned out the previous year and to make revision for the coming year.  They ask themselves what needs to change, what needs to be nurtured and tended to and what is doing fine with no revisions. It's important to look at those things you gave yourself less than an A on and think about how you can either improve or eliminate them.  In addition, the successful famer uses resources at their disposal such as reading proactive books, taking a class, or finding a mentor to help them become more successful in their work. 

Revise - Make a Plan of Revision - An Action Plan

In order to grow and become more successful in your own work and life you too, like a conventional farmer, will  need to review, reflect and then revise as well.  This revision becomes your Action Plan for the coming year.  Type it up and put it somewhere that you can see it every day.  Refer back to it during the year and make sure you are taking action to grow your life. 

BTW, if you find that this process uncovers things you feel challenged to do own your own, consider hiring a life coach with this focus.  I do this kind of work myself and would love to hear your story and see if we hit it off.  All you have to do is either call me or email me.  


Blessings,  Lorraine

You have to see it to make it happen and take action to make it real

 

720-258-5963 - lorrainebanfield@msn.com