Five Steps to Becoming Authentically Powerful

Most people think of power as something they have rather than something they are.  They see power as residing in some thing, this thing resides outside themselves such as a large bank account, a prestigious job or a position within an organization or group.  But this is power of position, status, money or rank.  People who have this kind of power can lose it in a heartbeat.  They lose their job, they lose the election, the stock market crashes, they go bankrupt, the people they have power over outgrow or out distance them in some way and no longer see them as powerful as they once were, or they grow older and are no longer seen as significant or important.  There are many, many ways of losing external power. Authentic power, on the other hand, comes from within and cannot be taken from you.  People with authentic power emanate this power by who they are and not from what they own or what position in life they hold.  They feel confident and in charge of their lives and have influential power where other people are concerned, but they never try to have power over anyone but themselves.  Below are five ways of developing authentic power: 

Step One – Value yourself and the gifts you have been given.  We are all gifted – figure out what your gifts are and begin to use them today in your work and personal life.     

Step Two – Develop emotional boundaries. People with authentic power have solid emotional boundaries and understand when to say no and when to say yes.  They don’t expect other people to take care of them emotionally or do their emotional work for them, nor do they do this for others.  They set their own boundaries and they enforce them.  If they say no, they mean it and if they say yes, they follow through.    

Step Three– Reprogram your inner dialog.  People with authentic power have an internal dialog with themselves that is positive and proactive.  If you want authentic power then change your internal dialog from evaluations of yourself and others – both negative and positive  – to thoughts about how beautiful and challenging life is and what you can do to make the world a better place.      

Step Four – Be a person of integrity.  Develop your character by never lying, cheating or stealing by being very conscious of the insidious ways we can do these things by using denial.  Not telling yourself the truth of your own culpability in life's problems is one of these forms of denial.  Also connect the dots in your life and take full responsibility for the state of your life.  Learn from your mistakes and do not blame others or circumstances for the failures or messes in your life.   

Step Five – Work hard and commit yourself to accomplishing what you can with the gifts and talents you have been given.  If you are a writer, then write, if you are an artist then make beautiful pictures, if you are an engineer then build something, if you are a teacher, then teach someone, if you are a doctor then heal someone, if you are a lawyer then defend someone or some thing, if you are a mother then nurture your children, if you are a chef then make a delicious meal, if you are a business person then make or sell something, if you are a technician then fix something, if you are a grocery clerk then ring up that sale and smile at your customer.  In other words, no matter what you are gifted to do – get busy doing it.  Accomplishments build self-esteem and self-esteem builds authentic power. 

If you do these five things you will become a person with authentic power and any loss of the other kinds of power will only produce a temporary sense of unease but in the long run won’t affect your sense of well being since you have built a foundation of internal power which can’t be taken away from you via external events or situations. 

Blessings, Lorraine