Of course, being the introspective person that I am I spent a good amount of time thinking about this and wondering what it meant. I asked myself, am I fooling myself, am I better suited to sitting one-one-one with people and I should give up the idea of being a writer? But as I went about my business the next day, I happened to come across this poem, So You Want to Be a Writer, by Charles Bukowski. Read it at: http://www.writerscircle.com/page/3/ I love this poem. The very first line says, "If it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it." Well this book came bursting out of me once I got the idea to do it and my determination to write it never wavered. Reading this line validated me as a writer and I realized that my so called friend probably had her own agenda for what she wrote. In writing my book, I did not rewrite it over and over again and maybe that made it less than perfect for the reviewers out there like her, but it was a labor of love and done to inspire and encourage those who need the kind of encouragement I write about in the book. It was not written to impress the critics or those who call themselves book reviewers and editors. And if I did not choose all the most perfect words and rambled a bit here there - so be it - I loved writing my book and I love how it turned out. I am a writer and no one, not some reviewer or some wanna be writer, or anyone with an opinion, gets to tell me I'm not. I have read my share of books that I didn't think were all that well written or which had banal and predictable points of view, but that is my opinion and obviously there were others who thought otherwise or I would never have even seen the book in print. I also know that if you are called to do something, as I feel I am regarding writing. then you do the best you can and if it comes from your heart and soul, then in my opinion, that's good enough. Plus, I don't believe that writing a self help book, is about being the best writer, it's about encouraging, inspiring and helping others to see the world in a different way and if you can do that, then you're a writer in my opinion.
There Will Always Be Critics
But this blog is for you so how can this incident have meaning for you? Since this blog is about what I am calling the Renaissance Way, a way of living that is about giving birth to your true self, it occurs to me that you too will experience critical reviews of your ideas, your way of living, your work, your interest, your neighborhood and your call, whatever it might be. You name it and there will be someone who will tell you it's not right, it's not the thing for you to be doing and they will give you both verbal and non verbal indications of their displeasure. They might even write it up and post it on the Internet - social media being what it's turning out to be these days. But here is what you should know, believe and have faith in your thing, your call, your mission in life. If you love it, if you feel energized when you do it, if you can get into a sense of flow where you lose track of time, then this is your thing, or your soul call, as I call it in my book, and no critic has a right to tell you not to do it.
Find or Create Your Own Pack
Sometimes in doing our soul's call, we have to move away from those who don't support us. In so doing we must find our own pack, You must find the people who do like what you are doing, who do approve of it and then engage with them and let the nay sayers go find their own pack. If you don't know anyone right away who connects with you on this love of yours, then start looking for them. Create a group yourself, join one that is already in place, take a class on your thing and engage with the other students - look for a meeting of the minds and avoid those who seem competitive and un-supportive, even if they are doing the same thing you are doing or who give lib service but who you know in your heart don't support you or don't care. Find the folks that care - that's where the juice for your thing will be. .
Go Where You Bare the Most Fruit
Market yourself and your work/love/passion/soul call to those who want it, need it and will appreciate it. If you get a lukewarm response from people about your thing, then move away from them even if they look on the surface like the perfect customer. In fact, I would say that a lukewarm response is the worst kind of response, it's worse than a negative response.
Let me give you an example. Let's say you go out looking for a job - you get three calls and have three interviews. One asks you a question about a particular thing and you say unfortunately you have no experience in that. Up until this question all was going well in the interview but once the hiring manager hears you say you don't know anything about this thing - he ends the interview and tells you that they need someone with this particular experience. This is an example of a no thank you response.
In the second interview, you answer all the questions right and you can tell the hiring manager likes you because she starts saying we or you would be doing this or that and smiles at you and you can feel it - the job is yours. This is an example of a yes, response.
The third interview is the worst kind because from the moment you enter the interview room you have no idea whether the hiring manager likes you, hates you or is going to hire his cousin and is only going through the motions with you because some higher up said he had to interview a certain number of candidates. This then is the lukewarm or neutral response. You don't want to accept this job even if for some reason they decide to hire you.
People who give off lukewarm or neutral responses will continue to do this all along and you will eventually feel devalued and depressed. The same is true of your calling - go with the yes, accept the no and run like hell from the lukewarm. Only shriveled and sickly fruit will be had with these folks. Find people who give you an upbeat, positive and excited response and who want to get to know you and your thing and love it. These people will help you produce/bare a whole lot of fruit. Stick with them.
Have Faith and Stay on Your Path
We are all called to a certain path in life, of course we may have to stop and listen for our soul's call, but no matter who you are, you have a right and even a duty to hear that call and act on it. You then need to have faith in it even if it's difficult. It's very important that you don't allow anyone else to tell you your path is not the right one for you. Now I am not saying that we don't sometimes get off on a path that isn't right.. All you have to do is watch American Idol to see this - some of the people who audition for that show have zero singing talent, but somehow they get on the show and then make fools of themselves. I think they just want to be rich and famous.
But I do not believe anyone reading my blog is in that category. I believe my readers are mature and sensible people and are not going off on some fantasy "call" that is not real for them, In fact, what I would say is that things like the review that happened to me are actually part and parcel of the process of hearing your call and going on a journey to act on that call. It is simply one of the many tests of your faith and belief in your call. It's the heroes journey and we will be tested, tempted and in some cases treated badly by what we encounter on the path - what we need to do is recognize these challenges and not allow ourselves to waver.
So that's what I'm doing - I am seeking out others who value my work, I am having faith in it and I am remaining true to my call. I hope you will do the same.
Blessings, Lorraine
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